Sunday, September 18, 2011
What would you rather do?
I am so tired today. Just came back from a local underground show. Is it worth it? It's worth for the weekend getaway. Stress reliever. Am I having fun? It is hard to say. I like to observe things for now. This keeps me questioning. If I have a choice what would I rather do? What do I really want to do? I saw young people having fun. Maybe they have found what they like from a young age. As for me, I'm a late bloomer. Is it too late? Back to the question: what would I rather do?
.Black Night.
I just wanted to share an incident that happened to me earlier this month.
I was fast asleep during that one particular night. Just like other night, I sleep with my lampshade on. I cannot sleep in total darkness.
I was sleeping peacefully that one night and suddenly…in my sleep, I thought I saw a bright light in my dream. It was so bright that it forces me to open my eyes. And as I opened my blurry eyes, I heard a sound “ Tack..Tack..Tack” My vision was blinded by the brightness of the light.And I realized it was my mini reading lamp. I immediately thought it was my dad. But as I opened my eyes wider..yet still..the light is so bright as it is torched towards my face. I can only see a silhouette. A skinny -bold human being. Why is my dad so skinny? I thought. And that is when I realized it is not my dad..nor my brother. It was someone else! I swear, that person is staring at me for a few second. I cannot see his face because of my blurry vision and the contrast of dark light inside my bedroom and the brightness of the light outside my room. That man is standing in front of my door. My heart was pumping hard. I immediately get up and scream “ Hoooiiiiii!!!!” I know it’s a burglar. A burglar inside my house. I ran and grab the nearest thing to me. A broom stick. I know the man is now at the toilet. I heard a man’s cough. I know it is a grown-up man. Something struck me. Has he got any weapon? I immediately rushed to my parents’ room and wake them up. When we came out, the man is gone. My mind was blurred for a moment. We checked the kitchen door. No one has locked the door. The grill is opened. The man has entered through the kitchen door.
My mom’s laptop was gone. As well as my cell phone. I was so in rage. I was so disappointed and I cannot go to sleep after that. But one thing I am most disappointed with is my mom. I remember, I’ve told her to keep her laptop in their room for safety purpose. She used to keep her laptop in the living room. Never put it back when finished. Facebook has made her an online winner because it keeps her occupied for 24 hours. I asked her to lock the door even during the day but thought it is a hassle since my grandma always wants to go out. Any person can sneak into our window and it is possible that one day that person will find ways to steal her laptop. I said to her. We have a tough time arguing about it. But, that is her property, not mine. So, it happened. Every night after that incident, I cannot sleep alone. I asked my mom to accompany me. I woke up every night whenever I heard sounds. I became very sensitive to my surroundings. I am not sure if the fact that the things has been stolen that make me really disappointed. But maybe for the things that could be prevented are not prevent. At first, I’m hoping that person will pay his price. But when I think about it, ignorance and foolishness is the underlying cause.
Actually it happens a few times before, but this time the burglar managed to get in the house. What a shame.
Moral of the story: Keep your doors locked all the time. Don’t keep your valuable things outside your room.
A night not to remember. Not even worth your life.
I was fast asleep during that one particular night. Just like other night, I sleep with my lampshade on. I cannot sleep in total darkness.
I was sleeping peacefully that one night and suddenly…in my sleep, I thought I saw a bright light in my dream. It was so bright that it forces me to open my eyes. And as I opened my blurry eyes, I heard a sound “ Tack..Tack..Tack” My vision was blinded by the brightness of the light.And I realized it was my mini reading lamp. I immediately thought it was my dad. But as I opened my eyes wider..yet still..the light is so bright as it is torched towards my face. I can only see a silhouette. A skinny -bold human being. Why is my dad so skinny? I thought. And that is when I realized it is not my dad..nor my brother. It was someone else! I swear, that person is staring at me for a few second. I cannot see his face because of my blurry vision and the contrast of dark light inside my bedroom and the brightness of the light outside my room. That man is standing in front of my door. My heart was pumping hard. I immediately get up and scream “ Hoooiiiiii!!!!” I know it’s a burglar. A burglar inside my house. I ran and grab the nearest thing to me. A broom stick. I know the man is now at the toilet. I heard a man’s cough. I know it is a grown-up man. Something struck me. Has he got any weapon? I immediately rushed to my parents’ room and wake them up. When we came out, the man is gone. My mind was blurred for a moment. We checked the kitchen door. No one has locked the door. The grill is opened. The man has entered through the kitchen door.
My mom’s laptop was gone. As well as my cell phone. I was so in rage. I was so disappointed and I cannot go to sleep after that. But one thing I am most disappointed with is my mom. I remember, I’ve told her to keep her laptop in their room for safety purpose. She used to keep her laptop in the living room. Never put it back when finished. Facebook has made her an online winner because it keeps her occupied for 24 hours. I asked her to lock the door even during the day but thought it is a hassle since my grandma always wants to go out. Any person can sneak into our window and it is possible that one day that person will find ways to steal her laptop. I said to her. We have a tough time arguing about it. But, that is her property, not mine. So, it happened. Every night after that incident, I cannot sleep alone. I asked my mom to accompany me. I woke up every night whenever I heard sounds. I became very sensitive to my surroundings. I am not sure if the fact that the things has been stolen that make me really disappointed. But maybe for the things that could be prevented are not prevent. At first, I’m hoping that person will pay his price. But when I think about it, ignorance and foolishness is the underlying cause.
Actually it happens a few times before, but this time the burglar managed to get in the house. What a shame.
Moral of the story: Keep your doors locked all the time. Don’t keep your valuable things outside your room.
A night not to remember. Not even worth your life.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
My Music Evolution
When I discovered Avril Lavigne..I praised the Lord.Finally Ifound my taste..Her songs actually one of the factors that keep me motivated and survived throughout my high school years. When I feel so stressed and needed an upliftment..One of the escapes is through music. From there, I discovered rock-based music from my brother (whom had several artistes and collection of songs back than)..from MXPX, Bowling for Soup, 3 Doors Down, Skye Sweetnam, Nickleback, Paparoach..and some punk rock. As long as the song has the sound of rock, I will listen to it. But, that's it.
That was waaaaaayy back in high school. After my secondary years, I went to Form 6..I didn't care much about what music I listened to. But still, the only music that can catch my attention is rock or alternative. When I met my bf, he introduced some bands to me like Lifehouse, Foo Fighhters, Jimmy Eatworld..That time he still in the process of ‘tackling’ me..haha. (Although he admit he listened to ‘heavier stuff’). I don't remember the rest ( oh, because it is such a challenging period for us)..But, that's it.
When I entered Uni, that is where I realised I needed music more than ever because of the stress. Apart from alternative & the mainstream rock band, I started to hear more about my bf's stuffs. And..what is his stuffs? It's Metal. The first time I heard his songs, I was not keen of it. But, I was okay with it. In This Moment sounds good to me. So, I keep on listening what I want to listen such as Paramore, The Almost, Jimmy Eat World, Avril Lavigne, Zee Avi Juliet the Orange ..etc..
When I finished my studies, I realized I was so much in need of different types of music, I discovered jazz/ blues/rock..Went to Jazz Fest, begin to search for Nina Simone, googled ‘who is Sonny Boy Williamson?’ , which leads me to The Animals, Deff Leopard, and the list go on.. ( Thanx to Youtube) Just randomly searching for new stuff.
When I started working.. I thought I will not need as much time to listen to music..But…BAAM!! Reality hits. I was in rage. Day by day, I discovered the ugly truth. You have no idea what I have become. I feel like I carry a huge rock on my shoulder. I need something to lift me up. Something I can turn my anger into something else. I found something..not very new to me…it was there all along. The stuffs that my bf always listened to. METAL. I don’t know how on earth I was indulging it to the beat. Suddenly, the sound that I least pay attention to becoming the sound of what I WANT to listen to. Not particularly on any band, but I began to search for types of metal genres across the globe. Progressive, trash, death, glam, power, core..even black. But it does not mean I am really into these stuffs. I enjoy TS, Killswitch Engage, As I lay Dying, Doro, Manowar types of music. I don’t want to name specifically on one band because I don’t think I listen enough of their songs. Right now, I love to listen as long as it sounds and feels good to me.
I just love the feeling when I listen to it. Maybe, for now..but who knows. Will it be my long term preference to this kind of music? I have to wait and see.
But for now, it keeps the storms flashing and rumbling against the huge rock.
That was waaaaaayy back in high school. After my secondary years, I went to Form 6..I didn't care much about what music I listened to. But still, the only music that can catch my attention is rock or alternative. When I met my bf, he introduced some bands to me like Lifehouse, Foo Fighhters, Jimmy Eatworld..That time he still in the process of ‘tackling’ me..haha. (Although he admit he listened to ‘heavier stuff’). I don't remember the rest ( oh, because it is such a challenging period for us)..But, that's it.
When I entered Uni, that is where I realised I needed music more than ever because of the stress. Apart from alternative & the mainstream rock band, I started to hear more about my bf's stuffs. And..what is his stuffs? It's Metal. The first time I heard his songs, I was not keen of it. But, I was okay with it. In This Moment sounds good to me. So, I keep on listening what I want to listen such as Paramore, The Almost, Jimmy Eat World, Avril Lavigne, Zee Avi Juliet the Orange ..etc..
When I finished my studies, I realized I was so much in need of different types of music, I discovered jazz/ blues/rock..Went to Jazz Fest, begin to search for Nina Simone, googled ‘who is Sonny Boy Williamson?’ , which leads me to The Animals, Deff Leopard, and the list go on.. ( Thanx to Youtube) Just randomly searching for new stuff.
When I started working.. I thought I will not need as much time to listen to music..But…BAAM!! Reality hits. I was in rage. Day by day, I discovered the ugly truth. You have no idea what I have become. I feel like I carry a huge rock on my shoulder. I need something to lift me up. Something I can turn my anger into something else. I found something..not very new to me…it was there all along. The stuffs that my bf always listened to. METAL. I don’t know how on earth I was indulging it to the beat. Suddenly, the sound that I least pay attention to becoming the sound of what I WANT to listen to. Not particularly on any band, but I began to search for types of metal genres across the globe. Progressive, trash, death, glam, power, core..even black. But it does not mean I am really into these stuffs. I enjoy TS, Killswitch Engage, As I lay Dying, Doro, Manowar types of music. I don’t want to name specifically on one band because I don’t think I listen enough of their songs. Right now, I love to listen as long as it sounds and feels good to me.
I just love the feeling when I listen to it. Maybe, for now..but who knows. Will it be my long term preference to this kind of music? I have to wait and see.
But for now, it keeps the storms flashing and rumbling against the huge rock.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Love this
Rather than being mad and frustrated of what had happened, all I can say is I've rather listen to something that can channelled the frustration and anger within me..so I starting to like the heavier stuff. A therapy? maybe. I just find it.. helpful.
So here it is..Just wonder if I have this 'dark' side. Just a thought. Just something I've discovered for quite some time.
Presenting Doro Pesch.
For those who do not know her,look her up at Wiki..hehe.
Enjoy. \m/
So here it is..Just wonder if I have this 'dark' side. Just a thought. Just something I've discovered for quite some time.
Presenting Doro Pesch.
For those who do not know her,look her up at Wiki..hehe.
Enjoy. \m/
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Last Monday
Well, I don't know if I am supposed to write about this..But, I figure out it is something I can share about.
These few weeks are the most down and low days of my life.. Things happened..conflict with collegue, words of rubbish from the boss..how do I know it's rubbish? Because it does not do me any good.It demotivates me.It's all about comparison..What do me justice? My collegue (so-called) shows her true color. When people say bad things about you..you should have get mad right? Okay, just imagine the worst thing that person can say to you.But, not on your face..On the phone talking to someone..but..next to you..talking bad about you..yes next to you..but not on your face..you just sit there and heard..So what does that mean? WHy not say it one on one? I know I supposed to be mad/angry...but, for some reason something in me just make me calm..I am supprised because I am quite hot tempered person when it comes to things like this..but I was so happy..so happy I can see the real thing.. Do not trust anyone at your workplace.No matter how good that person is. I just saying this based on this experience.. not all humans are like this..but just as precaution.
Back at home, I'm thinking :
I want to get out of this pit!! I want to quit. Before that, I thought what am I to do without work, I don't have any new job. But rather than I stay here being treated like ~~!@#, it's better for me to go. No matter how I tried..there will be always someone will not happy with my work. They don't like to see me without any task in hand (that's because I finished the rest earlier)..and boom! I'm labelled as lazy and what? I am not serious about my job? Is that what you are saying? Hey..wake up! I am not as you think..you don't know what am I doing at the backroom..and noww..you want to say me this and that. From there the conflcit started. But despite all that happened, I keep myself calm. I feel stronger than before. I don't care what others might think. The truth will shows. With God's will,for some reason, that person start talking to me again. I never 'boom' her for what she said about me with whoever the person she is talking on the phone with. For what she ever done to me. I don't want to be like her. This time..It's all about work. I only treat every person as in work purpose. Outside, they do not have any power over me.
So to cut long story short... Last Monday.. I hand-in my resignation tender.. I know I am not belong there.So guess what? the boss who always try to bring me down..said that:
1. He puts high hope on me
2. I am doing my work well
3. He can be my friend (???
4. Whatever the !@#% he told me..
Because I know the main reason is that the company do not have enough people.It's obvious with the number of staffs..and he ask me to stay atleast until December..or make it 1 year..hmm..
So now I have to decide..after all I don't want to do sales anymore..I can try but I don't want to think it as an obligation..regardless of what they think of me..I am going to leave that place somehow.
Whatever happens, it is for the experience. I hope I can find better opportunity out there. It's still a long journey for me. For the time being, I have to endure this. Like a close friend of mine once said "Dare to take some risk".
These few weeks are the most down and low days of my life.. Things happened..conflict with collegue, words of rubbish from the boss..how do I know it's rubbish? Because it does not do me any good.It demotivates me.It's all about comparison..What do me justice? My collegue (so-called) shows her true color. When people say bad things about you..you should have get mad right? Okay, just imagine the worst thing that person can say to you.But, not on your face..On the phone talking to someone..but..next to you..talking bad about you..yes next to you..but not on your face..you just sit there and heard..So what does that mean? WHy not say it one on one? I know I supposed to be mad/angry...but, for some reason something in me just make me calm..I am supprised because I am quite hot tempered person when it comes to things like this..but I was so happy..so happy I can see the real thing.. Do not trust anyone at your workplace.No matter how good that person is. I just saying this based on this experience.. not all humans are like this..but just as precaution.
Back at home, I'm thinking :
I want to get out of this pit!! I want to quit. Before that, I thought what am I to do without work, I don't have any new job. But rather than I stay here being treated like ~~!@#, it's better for me to go. No matter how I tried..there will be always someone will not happy with my work. They don't like to see me without any task in hand (that's because I finished the rest earlier)..and boom! I'm labelled as lazy and what? I am not serious about my job? Is that what you are saying? Hey..wake up! I am not as you think..you don't know what am I doing at the backroom..and noww..you want to say me this and that. From there the conflcit started. But despite all that happened, I keep myself calm. I feel stronger than before. I don't care what others might think. The truth will shows. With God's will,for some reason, that person start talking to me again. I never 'boom' her for what she said about me with whoever the person she is talking on the phone with. For what she ever done to me. I don't want to be like her. This time..It's all about work. I only treat every person as in work purpose. Outside, they do not have any power over me.
So to cut long story short... Last Monday.. I hand-in my resignation tender.. I know I am not belong there.So guess what? the boss who always try to bring me down..said that:
1. He puts high hope on me
2. I am doing my work well
3. He can be my friend (???
4. Whatever the !@#% he told me..
Because I know the main reason is that the company do not have enough people.It's obvious with the number of staffs..and he ask me to stay atleast until December..or make it 1 year..hmm..
So now I have to decide..after all I don't want to do sales anymore..I can try but I don't want to think it as an obligation..regardless of what they think of me..I am going to leave that place somehow.
Whatever happens, it is for the experience. I hope I can find better opportunity out there. It's still a long journey for me. For the time being, I have to endure this. Like a close friend of mine once said "Dare to take some risk".
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