All this while...

You served what others tell you, Rather than define your own experience and make a purpose. Hurt or destroy, Decide what you can do, They may see you unconvincing, It is not because you are, You refuse to see your great fortune As big as the burden may seem, They are nothing to what you can dream, Every good thing you can imagine, In your heart, You look for something amazing, Don’t kill the time, You can bring it to life.

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Top 10 Gruesome Fairy Tale Origins


When I was a little girl, I like Snow White & Cinderella so much. Disney's Version though. But something seemed eerie to me that time. Don't know why..........Maybe this article have the explanation. I don't know if this is real..but..yeah. Not all ends as 'happily ever after'.

Oh!I really like Beauty & the Beast. I think it's the most beautiful story as well as Lion King ( yup..I cried)..I think it's the best.Maybe one day my own children would see it too ( might join them as well.hehe.)

Weight loss alert (!!)

Beep.beep.I have to lose weight. I’ve been eating a lot, but with minimal amount of body movement. I feel guilty about it. I feel guilty to my body. So I’ve been searching around products that can help me to lessen the fats. I’ve tried tea, but the cramping getting worse and I have a massive headache for a few days. So I found out it is because of the ingredients which contained the Senna leaf and Senna pod.

According to research, Senna leaf has been used for centuries as a “cleansing herb” which acts as laxatives. It is often used to for constipation, cleansing and weight loss.

My problem is my stomach. I cannot bear the cramp and I’m hitting the toilet all night. I promised I never take it again. With limited budget, I try to search for other products. But I couldn’t find one.

I decide to try different method. I take oats as breakfast, and also fruit smoothie. I try it for a few days. I don’t know if I lose weight but it actually keeps me full! And I feel I have more energy. (I don’t know if my energy level caused by my emotional state, maybe I just feel good about it). I still have frequent headaches though. I’m trying to find something that can make me full. So one day, while I was searching for recipes in the internet, I stumbled upon Chia seed. Some people add this in their daily breakfast. Some called it ‘superfood’. Some use it as energy booster. It is actually a food that is rich in protein and omega-3 fatty acids, typically shaped like small ovals. It has multiple colour in brown, gray, black and white.


I went to town and only found flax seed, which is also known for its function as fiber. But I really want to find this Chia seed. So after a few search I finally found it at Natural Health Farm. To my surprise, it only cost me RM 22.90.





Does it work for me? Well, I don’t know, see how it goes in a few weeks or so.

Goals or dreams? (Or both?)

Have you ever imagine or think how your life will be if you are in different country? Have you ever feel that there is more to life? I mean besides all your goals and daily activity, have you ever dream of something bigger? Something that you want to do before you hit your golden age? I did.

This few months of ‘grace period’ has led me to something more that I never thought I will consider. I have the time to flashback what I have achieved for myself in many aspects. But, something irks me. What if I made other decisions back then? It might be different now. No, I’m not regretting the past. My way of thinking is just different back then. I guess I am not pay attention to myself, what dreams I have. I’m too busy chasing goals and wasting my time crying when I feel down. There must be something more. I think I never thought of it besides to find a job, start a family and all those norm things that seemed like an obligation these days. And while thinking about it, I was scared. I’m scared because I think there must be something different I can do with my life and I might miss it if I don’t keep special attention to it other than my goals. I really want to go to other countries. To make a living in other place different than here. That has always been my dream since I was a little kid. But I have my parents. I know they will against it. And I will be questioned. And I know I don’t have the means to do it right now. It’s seems impossible. For now. You must have adequate resources to live somewhere. The cost of living, the culture, and lifestyle, I must welcome ‘change’. Can I deal with CHANGES? I don’t know. It can be scary. But who knows what this life can offer? I have to learn to be away from home and cope with homesickness. Yet, my goals are just different.

I do want a family; I do want to make my own living here. But, I also have dreams. I want to go away from the norm. I want to experience. I just don’t know where and what to do if I want to do so.

I believe everyone have dreams. Some are lucky to have their dreams come true.
Maybe I was just dreaming. Dreams are unlimited. I can do everything in my dreams and imagination. I like to go ‘away’ for a while from my daily activities and worries. In my dreams, I am not alone. I have my love one with me.

Right now, I don’t mind if it doesn’t come true because I have something more important to do. I have my goals which I am looking forward to.

I just don’t want to miss the best moment that can happen. Whatever or wherever I am. Dream off or dream on?

My Kitchen is weeping..

I just finished cleaning and thrashing the old things in my kitchen. Phewww...I feel good when I throw things away..Of course, materially. Not that I simply just throw things away, but it is a 'call'. If the kitchen have emotion like us human, I think it cries all the way because it's masters have turned into hoarder!! I think I only throw 30% of the old things..thought about doing D.I.Y but I know I will accumulate stuff in my room which I try to keep things to a minimum level. I have to do this because at one time I think my room seemed to explode. That time I was really into d.i.y and I get all excited with Threadbanger! I will cut some of my Tshirts and even sewed 2 bags! (Oh, I bring the ol' sewing machine inside my room and actually went to fix it, and, as a result, minimum walking space in my room. But I learned to sew tho ;] Like a crowded hamsters cage) Although not the perfect kind of work, but I really enjoyed it.. This time around I don't think I will have ample time to do d.i.y stuff. Surely on the weekends but my lazy-o-meter  can be quite high. 

I hope to continue the de-cluttering process next week. If  I have no interviews. Speaking of which, I hope to hear some good offers next week because to tell you the truth I am nervous waiting at home. And I don't know what it will be. Because I might be anything =0 .  I know I should be relaxed about this, but lately I was thinking too much about some areas in my life. A little bit nervous also when meeting new colleagues at work. A bit traumatized by the past but I must move on and think positive. New challenges ahead.

Oh, today is my brother's first day at work. I hope everything's going well for him. It's been a while so it's time to step ahead. We never know what the future have for us, how our life will be.

Right now, I hope for the best.

Thank You

I've passed the exam. Thank you God. I also want to thank all that have supported me. Only God can repay one's kindness. I really don't expect my result. I am happy enough to pass by the passing mark. But God is so generous. The experience has taught me a lot about determination and knowing myself better. This is just the beginning.

It has been 2 weeks and I'm happy with some of the feedback. Now is a matter of choice. This include working away from town. Sometimes I feel it can be an opportunity to start a new life. But I know I have to consider a lot of things. If I rush it, I might miss other opportunity that may be good for me. On the other hand, I think it can be something valuable.

Right now, I'm hoping to get other feedback from some companies which I sent the application today. Whatever it is, I hope I can make the right choice.