Saturday, February 19, 2011
.The Common Question.
What to do when you are waiting for tomorrow knowing that you will be asked the same question, over and over again? Will you say it out loud that you haven’t have a job yet?Or you just try your best to explain that you are trying your best and have been through many. Or simply smile and say “No luck yet’? But is it fair if I say it is about luck? It sounds as though I am just give it all to fate. Is that what I am? All I have is hope. All things are possible. No matter how long. I just have to do what I have to do now. If I will encounter those question,again,which I predicted it will be, I decided just to give them simple answers. “No, I haven’t.”or “Yes, I have”. The choice is up to me.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Old Crib
When will my turn come? Day by day is like a hope for me. Waiting to receive a good news. A chance for me to ‘get out’ from this place. Everyday, I pictured myself outside from this old crib..to explore the world.to be outside from my comfort zone, to take challenges..I am still waiting for that opportunity to come. I am still here..in this old place of mine..Wishing one day I could fly..and build my own crib somewhere.
Valentine's Day
I guess many has spend their time with their loved ones for this very day. Well, it is also the day we show our appreciation to our loved ones..
Right? Maybe. I think that everyday should be a Valentine's Day. But I do not mean you have to plunk your money for some expensive dinner or gifts, or to do extreme things like arranging hundreds of candles which spells 'I love you' or sending dozens of flowers and chocolates to show your love for your partner. My point is that we must care and show our love and appreciation to that person everyday but in the most simplest way. By saying you love them and care for them, or just make them laugh, hear their problems, help them with their situation, share their joy and sorrows, open to one's thought, respect them and just be there for them. For me, that is the most meaningful.
Of course, everyone has their own way of showing their love. The bottom line is, you love that person. And Valentine's Day is not only The day you love her/him 'more' but also to live the rest of your days to love that person, to do the best, to change to be a better person, to appreciate your relationship and to make each moment a wonderful one, be it for better or for worst.
Right? Maybe. I think that everyday should be a Valentine's Day. But I do not mean you have to plunk your money for some expensive dinner or gifts, or to do extreme things like arranging hundreds of candles which spells 'I love you' or sending dozens of flowers and chocolates to show your love for your partner. My point is that we must care and show our love and appreciation to that person everyday but in the most simplest way. By saying you love them and care for them, or just make them laugh, hear their problems, help them with their situation, share their joy and sorrows, open to one's thought, respect them and just be there for them. For me, that is the most meaningful.
Of course, everyone has their own way of showing their love. The bottom line is, you love that person. And Valentine's Day is not only The day you love her/him 'more' but also to live the rest of your days to love that person, to do the best, to change to be a better person, to appreciate your relationship and to make each moment a wonderful one, be it for better or for worst.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Today
Today, I have known the truth.
Today, something was revealed to me.
Today, for the first time I stood up for my family.
Today, I have the courage to say something in my mind.
Today, you have shown your true colours.
Today, the hypocrite has spoken.
Today, I know the meaning "Using the name of God in vain"
Today, you self-proclaimed your heart is pure.
Today, you judged my family.
Today, you proved that you are more hypocrite than ever.You can talk like you are not wrong,innocent..but why are you bringing the grudge, suggesting name callings ex:dog?
Think what you want to think about us. You are not God. Who are you to questioned and to judge our love for mother? You have no idea.You talked and talked..and talked..still not convincing..because I know the truth.
I have enough of those "holier than thous".We're all sinners.
Whatever I did today, I asked for forgiveness. But I know..My family knows...My Father knows...
Today, something was revealed to me.
Today, for the first time I stood up for my family.
Today, I have the courage to say something in my mind.
Today, you have shown your true colours.
Today, the hypocrite has spoken.
Today, I know the meaning "Using the name of God in vain"
Today, you self-proclaimed your heart is pure.
Today, you judged my family.
Today, you proved that you are more hypocrite than ever.You can talk like you are not wrong,innocent..but why are you bringing the grudge, suggesting name callings ex:dog?
Think what you want to think about us. You are not God. Who are you to questioned and to judge our love for mother? You have no idea.You talked and talked..and talked..still not convincing..because I know the truth.
I have enough of those "holier than thous".We're all sinners.
Whatever I did today, I asked for forgiveness. But I know..My family knows...My Father knows...
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Xin Nian Kuai le!
Happy Chinese New Year 2011 to all who celebrated CNY. May this year brings a lot of success and wealth to all of us.
I remember whenever this season comes; my whole family will go to Kampung Ghana(Membakut), to celebrate CNY with our Grand Uncle who lives alone. He cannot talk but he hears. Every year we will bring food to celebrate CNY with him. Everything is so minimal back then, but the most important thing is we are together as a family. He tried to cook too, but mostly we will ask him to just sat back and enjoy the food we brought. Many years ago, there is no tv, so all we can see is the paddy field, birds chirping, kerbau-kerbau, the dogs…just enjoying the scenery..oh, the mud..so no reason to wear high heels! Although it is not glamorous, we still enjoy our visits. He tried to talk to us by using gestures. He did not do the professional sign language. Sometimes it is hard for me to understand, but as years went by, I can catch at least the core thing he wants to ‘say’. At one time, when my grandma and cousins occupied the balcony,gruuhhhhh! runtuh! I can say it is the moment that I will never forget. Luckily the other part of the house was safe. Although I can say it is pretty damage. So after that incident, my grandpa applied to get subsidy for my Grand Uncle. So within a year, he had a new home. =) We were very happy.
Back in 2008, we celebrated the best Chinese New Year ever! As usual, we will bring our own food, but something was unusual that year. I was (indeed, my family too) felt a certain ‘feeling’ and we realized that especially when we were walking in the paddy field to go to Grand Uncle’s house. I thought it is only a feeling. Another unusual thing is that, Grand Uncle wanted (so bad) my grandpa to get some fireworks. He never wanted fireworks during Chinese New Year.So, that night, we have fireworks! It is so loud and clear..He seemed so excited and happy..Smiling..and suddenly Grand Uncle stumbled, he cannot stand straight. He gets a heart attack. So we brought him to his room..lay him down..I can see he is in shock. It must be the fireworks. So I rubbed his head with minyak kapak. He seems okay after that..I was relieved. The most memorable face is that when we all hugged him, I can see tears in his eyes. I can see he is very happy that day. It was the best CNY so far..But, 3 days after that, my dad received a phone call from grandpa…Grand Uncle has passed away..My heart just stopped, I cannot think that time..I was just…blank..thinking back all the time we have spent with him..it was just like an instant flashbacks from the past..and just a blink of an eye, he is suddenly gone..I cannot believe it..Is this real? halo?! So, that night, I cried myself to sleep..The most heartbreaking news is that, one of the villagers saw him in ‘swollen’ condition. Not that he’s beaten up or something..he just.. ‘bubbled up’. It was believed that, he died few days before..that means 3 days before was the last good bye from Grand Uncle. And few hours later..he was gone. We suspected he had another heart attack, but because he live alone, so nobody knows what he’d been through..no one can help him. Next thing I know, we had the funeral went on. I chose not to look at his body. I just don’t want to remember him that way. To this day, I still remember Grand Uncle. Although he is a Buddhist, I hope that the Lord will take care of him. I always hope for this one.
So, till today, we never go to Kg. Ghana anymore. I heard that my grandpa ask somebody to live in Grand Uncle’s house..to take care of the house.
Well, this is one memorable CNY. Story of my life. I was just happy to be able to meet Grand Uncle for the last time during CNY. We love you Grand Uncle and I will always remember you. Right now, appreciate the family you had, as they are still here with us. Continue to do the best for those we love. For what is gone, will never come back. But always remembered.
I remember whenever this season comes; my whole family will go to Kampung Ghana(Membakut), to celebrate CNY with our Grand Uncle who lives alone. He cannot talk but he hears. Every year we will bring food to celebrate CNY with him. Everything is so minimal back then, but the most important thing is we are together as a family. He tried to cook too, but mostly we will ask him to just sat back and enjoy the food we brought. Many years ago, there is no tv, so all we can see is the paddy field, birds chirping, kerbau-kerbau, the dogs…just enjoying the scenery..oh, the mud..so no reason to wear high heels! Although it is not glamorous, we still enjoy our visits. He tried to talk to us by using gestures. He did not do the professional sign language. Sometimes it is hard for me to understand, but as years went by, I can catch at least the core thing he wants to ‘say’. At one time, when my grandma and cousins occupied the balcony,gruuhhhhh! runtuh! I can say it is the moment that I will never forget. Luckily the other part of the house was safe. Although I can say it is pretty damage. So after that incident, my grandpa applied to get subsidy for my Grand Uncle. So within a year, he had a new home. =) We were very happy.
Back in 2008, we celebrated the best Chinese New Year ever! As usual, we will bring our own food, but something was unusual that year. I was (indeed, my family too) felt a certain ‘feeling’ and we realized that especially when we were walking in the paddy field to go to Grand Uncle’s house. I thought it is only a feeling. Another unusual thing is that, Grand Uncle wanted (so bad) my grandpa to get some fireworks. He never wanted fireworks during Chinese New Year.So, that night, we have fireworks! It is so loud and clear..He seemed so excited and happy..Smiling..and suddenly Grand Uncle stumbled, he cannot stand straight. He gets a heart attack. So we brought him to his room..lay him down..I can see he is in shock. It must be the fireworks. So I rubbed his head with minyak kapak. He seems okay after that..I was relieved. The most memorable face is that when we all hugged him, I can see tears in his eyes. I can see he is very happy that day. It was the best CNY so far..But, 3 days after that, my dad received a phone call from grandpa…Grand Uncle has passed away..My heart just stopped, I cannot think that time..I was just…blank..thinking back all the time we have spent with him..it was just like an instant flashbacks from the past..and just a blink of an eye, he is suddenly gone..I cannot believe it..Is this real? halo?! So, that night, I cried myself to sleep..The most heartbreaking news is that, one of the villagers saw him in ‘swollen’ condition. Not that he’s beaten up or something..he just.. ‘bubbled up’. It was believed that, he died few days before..that means 3 days before was the last good bye from Grand Uncle. And few hours later..he was gone. We suspected he had another heart attack, but because he live alone, so nobody knows what he’d been through..no one can help him. Next thing I know, we had the funeral went on. I chose not to look at his body. I just don’t want to remember him that way. To this day, I still remember Grand Uncle. Although he is a Buddhist, I hope that the Lord will take care of him. I always hope for this one.
So, till today, we never go to Kg. Ghana anymore. I heard that my grandpa ask somebody to live in Grand Uncle’s house..to take care of the house.
Well, this is one memorable CNY. Story of my life. I was just happy to be able to meet Grand Uncle for the last time during CNY. We love you Grand Uncle and I will always remember you. Right now, appreciate the family you had, as they are still here with us. Continue to do the best for those we love. For what is gone, will never come back. But always remembered.
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